Week 25: Don’t mind me….I’m just a little crazy right now.

I guess I’m not having a very good week. But it feels more like I’m not having a very good life. If you know me well at all, you know that my head isn’t always screwed on very straight. Although I’m perfectly capable of taking care of the routine things that need to be done in life (planning meals, keeping the house clean, making a reasonable living, etc.), whenever something new or different comes along to push me off the tracks, it takes me a while to react and re-prioritize.

Some say that the reason a woman is pregnant for 9 (or make that 10) months is so she has time to adjust and adapt to the idea of becoming a parent. The problem is that I’m an “I’ll believe it when I see it” kind of person, so it’s really hard for me to adapt to something that I have absolutely no concept of. When I think about most things, my mind goes straight to the negative. Last year, for example, someone invited me to go on what they were calling the “stupid early Sunday bike ride.” I’m guessing the ride was in July, when we can take advantage of early sunrises and get a decent bike ride in before the temperatures become unbearable. When I learned that “stupid early” meant “be there by 6:30” my first thought was “no way!” Sleep is precious to me! I can’t get up and get moving that early! But I let myself be convinced. And you know what? I survived. And I enjoyed it. And I went back for more “stupid early Sunday” rides. So when I think about having a newborn in the house, instead of thinking about tiny fingers and toes and first smiles and all of that good stuff, I think of 4 a.m. feedings and poopy diapers and no sleep for months (this sleep thing is sure to become an issue, no?). I know a large part of the problem is that I haven’t been around an infant in a really long time. Hardly any of my friends have kids, and the ones who do I barely ever see. I know all of this is going to change, and that we’ll probably end up with a new batch of friends, but that’s part of that unknown future that I can’t get a good handle on right now.

Along those lines, Philip and I are struggling with the kinds of things I’m sure tons of parents-to-be struggle with, which all boils down to “what in the world have we gotten ourselves into?” The biggest part of that for us, I think, is trying to reconcile who we are now with who we are going to be once the baby gets here. Today, we are an active, fun-seeking couple with an appreciation for the fact that we can change our plans on the fly and do whatever we want with our time. We like having the freedom to go to the gym or not go to the gym after work during the week. We like being able to meet for dinner on short notice, or to pack up the car and go away for the weekend. We like long weekend bike rides and lingering in the parking lot for hours afterwards with our friends. But are we going to be able to do any of that with a baby?

We’ve made a lot of great friends over the past few years, and had tons of adventures. Our friends are the kind of people who plan their lives months--if not years--in advance so they know what their goals are for the foreseeable future. The upside is they’ve gotten us to try new things that we’d probably never have the courage to try on our own. The downside is that none of them have infants. So while it’s business as usual for them as they plan new adventure and make sure the calendar is full, we’re left wondering how our priorities will have shifted by then and whether we’ll be able to participate at all. I have to imagine it gets really old for them to hear us saying that we just don’t know what we’re going to be able to do. It’s certainly getting old for us. We don’t want them to stop inviting us because that would just give us an excuse not to even try, but it’s really hard to know what our balance is going to be in the future..

I know a lot of it will be up to us. One thing that we have going for us is that we’ve already overhauled our lives once. We went from couch potatoes who watched other people doing their hobbies on TV to people who get out there and experience life as much as we can. It’s improved our physical and mental health, and it’s improved our relationship, so I think it’s important for us to at least try to hang onto some of that. At the same time, I struggle with whether or not that’s a selfish or unrealistic goal. I know that some people let babies take over their lives, and others manage to fit babies into their lifestyles instead. I don’t know which camp we will fall into. I don’t know how we could know that right now. If I’m honest with myself, part of me is trying desperately to hang on to the life I know now, and another part of me is ready for a new adventure. I have a feeling “compromise” is going to be my favorite word in 2012.

So with all of that constantly rolling around in my brain, with detours now and then to examine furniture and paint colors and the endless search for the “right” name (and the added bonus of crazy pregnancy hormones), I just don’t know which way is up right now. The result is that I make it through most days okay, but I’m also apt to have a mental breakdown at any moment. My mouth ends up saying things my brain doesn’t mean. I fail to think before I speak, and the things that come out are apt to annoy, anger, confuse, or hurt the people who care about me. And when I realize what I’ve done, I’m suddenly in a tailspin of self-doubt and regret that I don’t know how to stop. Just when I need all the support and love I can get, I’m finding myself pushing away from the people who can give it to me. Including myself—I’m kind of tired of being around myself these days, too. I want the old me back. But she’s never coming back. And I don’t know what to do with that.

Babies vs. Triathletes--Part 1

After spending an entire day registering for baby stuff with the “person-formerly-referred-to-(inaccurately)-as-TriMama” and our good and baby stuff-obsessed friend, I’ve come to few conclusions that might revolutionize the triathlon scene forever.

Bikes

 Let’s be honest—most of us aren’t pros and don’t average 25mph on the bike. I’ve crunched the data (because triathletes love data) and made a startling discovery: A triathlete’s average bike speed is inversely proportional to the coolness factor of their bike. In other words, the slower you are on the bike, the cooler it needs to be. There’s a simple reason for this too. If you’re superfast on the bike, the spectators can’t really catch a good glimpse of you (or more importantly, your bike) as you ride by on the course. But, if you’re one of the mid-to-back-of-the-packers like me, you need to have a cool bike because you’ll be passing the spectators slow enough that bike style and coolness matter.

There are a few problems with this, however. As I learned from my half-Ironman this year, being slower also means you’re out there in the elements longer. Sure, some might say that I should just train more so I’m faster. While this would be the obvious answer, it takes a LOT of work to go a little faster. Instead, I’ll take a quick look at some of the latest in baby wheels for the answers.

Notice how this cool baby ride has a huge, aerodynamic canopy, and how my “cool” tri bike doesn’t. Would that have helped prevent a wicked sunburn? You betcha! Also note the relaxed seating position and complete lack of pedals, gears, and shifters. I mean, I certainly would have had a MUCH faster run split if I could just have chilled out with a juice box and goldfish crackers while someone else did all of the work. GENIUS!

Snot

Triathletes (and cyclists and runners) spend a lot of time outdoors. We’re a reasonably tough lot, so minor things like allergies and colds don’t often keep us from training and racing. However, those things do create something that we need to deal with while we’re out there being awesome—snot. The solution (apparently) is the snot rocket. Now, while I’ve never really attempted this little maneuver myself, those of you that have know that this technique has its shortcomings. I mean, what about this screams “good idea?”

There’s really a lot that can go wrong. Sure, you might pull it off. But if you don’t, the collateral damage caused by such an act is far worse. At best, you end up wearing it for the rest of your ride or run. At worst, you don’t look before firing and manage to land one in the face of the person behind you. Come on—isn’t there a better solution? Actually there is, and we can find it in the aisles of the baby store.

Exit snot rocket, and enter snot sucker! Once you get past the stomach-turning concept of the whole thing, it actually makes a lot of sense. Clearly this isn’t something you could do for yourself. Come to think of it, I can’t think of too many friends that would help with this one either. Maybe further development needs to be done before it hits your local tri shop, so for now we’ll give babies an “A” for effort, but the win goes to the athletes. WOOT!

Apparel

Diapers are a staple of babyhood. Favorite brands and materials aside, they all serve the same function. Yesterday, I saw an innovation in diaper technology that blew my mind. Sure, it’s great for parents and baby alike, but I couldn’t help but think about this as a triathlete as well. Check it out!

There’s a little stripe on the front of the diaper that turns blue when baby had a wee. That is brilliant! I can hear some of you asking: “How on earth does that make you think of triathlon?”

Some triathlons (especially the half and full Ironman variety) take several hours to complete. Before and during the race, we need to drink a lot of fluids to stay hydrated and perform at our best. The problem is that sometimes the tank gets full, and you need to take action. The vast majority of us (myself included) use one of the on-course port-a-johns while others might stop at the closest shrub. There are, however, some triathletes that throw caution (and their pee) to the wind. Yep—they just pee while riding. And oddly enough, cycling/tri shorts aren’t really that different from diapers. (If you’ve ever been caught in a downpour while on a training ride, you’ll know what I mean.)

So I was thinking, what if tri/cycling shorts came with a wetness indicator like those diapers have? Competing in a triathlon is pretty fun (in a twisted sort of way I suppose), but what about the spectators? As much as we depends on their support, standing around for hours while waiting to see their athlete for a few seconds as they pass by can be boring. Adding a wetness indicator to the front of tri/bike shorts could be a way to give the spectators some insight into race and add a new level of comedic value to the sport. Babies get the win in this category hands down.

Conclusion

Babies: 2

Triathletes: 1
 

Week 22: Maternity Clothes

Luckily, 20+ weeks into my pregnancy, I haven’t had to worry about maternity clothes very much. Most of my summer skirts and dresses still fit fine and I hadn’t gotten around to donating that pile of “fat” clothes in my basement, so I’ve had plenty of things to wear. Just the other day, though, I started cleaning summer clothes out of my dresser that I know I already can’t fit in. I’m hoping that I can get by with what I’ve got for now until the temperatures start changing, so anything I buy can get me through fall and winter and I won’t have summer clothes that are useless in a month or two.

That said, I have a feeling that months and months of frustration are in my future. I’ve already found that it’s nearly impossible to find maternity clothes for working out. Bottoms probably won’t be much of an issue because I can just go up in size, but tops are a nightmare. Again, if I hadn’t started out wearing size extra-small or small, I could probably just go up a few sizes and get away with it. But since I have a petite frame, that’s not going to work so well (picture shoulder seams down to my elbows). As of a few months ago, I didn’t really understand how maternity clothes were designed (why would I have?) But I’m learning that I should be able to buy my regular size in maternity clothes, and the difference will be in the length and maybe the amount of fabric around the middle, but the shoulders and arms should still fit. Pants are another story altogether (and I see a whole post about them in my future). I haven’t had to wear any maternity pants yet, but I have tried on a bunch that were “donated” to me by friends and family. All I have to say right now is—who designed these things? I get the panels that come up over the belly. But why—if they fit in every other sense—do the crotches of some of these pants come down to my knees? What is going to happen to my body to fill in all of that space? And what’s with pants with no pockets in the back? Once they hike the waistline up to your armpits to cover the extra distance in the front, you need something to break up the space back there!

Oh – and here’s tangent number 2. I typically get 2 or 3 emails every day from some of my favorite stores that alert me to the “great” deals and sales that they have going on. Some of those stores don’t carry maternity clothes anyhow, so I just ignore them. What annoys me is getting emails from the stores that do carry maternity clothes that tell me “all jeans on sale” or “everything 30% off for one day only” and finding out that those sales don’t actually apply to the maternity clothes. Can someone explain that? What makes maternity clothes special? Isn’t the fact that women only need these clothes for a short time a good reason to put them on sale? If I could get a bunch of shirts at one time at a good price, I’d snatch them up! Instead, I’m reading bulletin board posts on the baby sites about women who have wardrobes consisting of 4 shirts and 2 pairs of pants that they hope will get them through the next 4 months because they don’t want to spend a bunch of money. I know my wardrobe should be at the bottom of my list of priorities right now, but I’m already so self conscious about how I look that if I’m wearing the same shirt day after day I’m going to crawl under my desk and hide. Sigh.

Anyhow, back to my rant about workout clothes. I’ve signed up for a few weekly or daily emails about pregnancy related topics, and they’re constantly reminding me that exercise is good for me and that I need to keep moving. However, digging a little deeper into the related websites reveals that their idea of the perfect workout attire is loose, breathable fabrics…especially cotton. Um, I’m sorry, but when did we go back in time to 1986? I haven’t been on the workout scene for that long, but ever since we joined a gym 5 years ago or so it’s been all tech fabrics all the time. These days if you participate in a race or a charity event and the free t-shirt isn’t made from “technical” fabric it seems almost useless. Who wants to work up a sweat only to end up with their clothes a heavy, wet mess? Not me, that’s who. Isn’t my body going through enough already without having to resort to cotton workout clothes? Apparently not. Because unless I want to pay $50 for a single shirt made from tech fabrics (and that’s not exaggeration), I’m pretty much screwed. This is the point at which I should be thinking “hey, I found a problem that needs a solution…maybe I can make some money off of this,” but instead I’m contemplating never going to the gym again. Good job, world.