Alaina’s first few weeks have been full of friends and family. Although we are obviously not fanatics about germs, Philip and I have wondered if we aren’t being cautious enough in allowing so many people to come and visit. Luckily, our friends and family have been smart enough to postpone their visits if they aren’t feeling well, and so far none of us has been sick at all. We have also limited our trips out with Alaina, mostly because there haven’t been many places that we needed to take her and also because it’s just easier for one or the other of us to run errands alone than it is to bundle everyone up and venture out together. I’m hoping that it won’t be too hard for us to get used to toting a baby and all of her gear around, but I’m in no hurry to do so.
I’ve already written my story of Alaina’s entrance into the world, which was obviously the most important thing that happened that day. But I want to remember some other things about that day that I didn’t include in the story of my labor.
After Alaina was born and we had spent some time marveling in her perfectness, Philip and I got on our phones and started texting and calling people to let them know that she had arrived. Philip and I had spent many hours talking about what would happen when I went into labor (which never really happened), and how and when we would let people know either that she was coming or that she was here. Many of our family members told us that they wanted to be at the hospital when she was born, but I was concerned about the logistics that would be involved in that. The fact that they all live at least 2 hours away, we had no idea when labor would start, and we had no idea how long it would take all added up to an equation that I couldn’t figure out how to solve. I didn’t want people to come rushing down only to have to wait in a waiting room for hours or days. I also didn’t want Philip to be distracted by providing updates through the whole process. So in the end, although Philip was worried about upsetting our families, we decided not to let anyone know what was going on until Alaina was here. It was kind of surreal to be sitting in the delivery room holding my brand new baby and talking on the phone. But that’s how the world works these days (at least that’s how our world works). The first person I called was my mom, and I swear the first thing she said was “why didn’t you call me sooner!” Of course she immediately tried to figure out how quickly she could get to Columbus. I also talked to my dad and texted my sisters and some friends while Philip spread the news to his family. Since it was already so late in the day, everyone decided that they would give us some time and hold off on coming to visit until the next day.
We spent about 2 hours in the delivery room after Alaina was born. During that time, nurses kept pushing on my abdomen to see if my body was starting to return to normal, which it wasn’t because my bladder was too full from all of the fluids that I’d gotten through my IV. The nurse told me I’d have to empty my bladder before they let me go upstairs, but my body just wasn’t interested in that. In the end, the nurse had to use a catheter to empty my bladder. Amazingly, after all I’d already been through that day, the procedure was a piece of cake and didn’t really bother me at all (I wish I could say that having a baby cured me of my phobias about having medical procedures done to me, but that carelessness only lasted until I was out of the delivery room).
Eventually, we were moved up to the recovery floor and into a room right across from the nurses’ station. The nurses who brought us up there tried to tell us that being that close to the desk would be a good thing for us, but the only thing it did was keep me awake when they decided to chat at 5 in the morning. Once we got settled in our room, a nurse came in to talk to us about baby care and to give Alaina her first bath. Philip learned how to swaddle Alaina in the blankets to turn her into a baby burrito (and still does it much better than I do). As the nurse was going over feeding schedules and teaching Alaina how to suck on the bottle, I realized that it was actually going to be up to us to keep track of all of that stuff and to keep this helpless baby alive. Needless to say, I experienced my first moment of panic. I think it was part exhaustion, part drugs (I found out later that they had given me vicodin for my pain when I thought they had only given me Motrin), but I was sure there was no way we were going to be able to keep all of that stuff straight.
By the time the nurses got all of the information they wanted from us and finished teaching us the basics of newborn care, it was almost 10 p.m. Our friends Aaron and Tani had offered to bring us some dinner, but by the time we were able to get in touch with them, Tani had fallen asleep (who could blame her?). Throughout my pregnancy I had told everyone that I wanted my reward for giving birth to be some French fries (some things never change). But since it was so late and we weren’t really very close to many restaurants, our options were limited. As it turned out, Philip went to McDonald’s and got us a late dinner. I know some people despise McDonald’s and try to never eat there, and I can understand that. Personally, I have McDonald’s only a few times a year…usually when I’m desperate for a quick meal that includes fries. It may not have been the best option available, but after a long day of labor and no food, I think almost anything would have tasted good.
That first night at the hospital I think Philip and I were up until 1 or 2 in the morning just coming down off the excitement and amazement of what had happened that day. We kept reliving the events of the day and sharing our perspectives on what had happened. And of course, we kept admiring our new daughter and reminding each other that she was really ours to keep. Eventually, we asked the nurses to take Alaina to the nursery. That was a tough decision for me because I didn’t really want to be away from her. At the same time, I was nervous about taking care of her and feeding her at the right times, and I knew she’d be in good hands with the nurses. We were also reminded that we’d had a looooong few days and that this would be our last chance to have around-the-clock help with our new baby, so we opted to get a few hours of rest on our own.
The next morning, the nurses started coming in our room to check on me probably every hour or so starting around 6. It wasn’t so bad though, because we were expecting to have a long, full day of visitors, so Philip and I knew we needed to get up and get ready. As soon as he was dressed, Philip went to retrieve Alaina from the nursery. While he was gone (what seemed like forever), I heard an emergency call come through at the nurses’ station. I was terrified that they were talking about my baby…it was the longest 5 minutes ever. Soon after, Philip came wheeling Alaina into the room in her bassinet, and I almost jumped down his throat for taking so long.
Given how excited she seemed, we expected my mom to show up at about 7 that morning, but she didn’t make it down until closer to noon. That was also ok, because the parade of hospital people never stopped. First came the photographer with her little cart. She took pictures of Alaina and easily convinced us to buy the premium package by showing us a slideshow of Alaina’s pictures set to music that instantly had me weeping (and would still, if I heard it right now). We also had paperwork to fill out (birth certificate, etc.) meal delivery, housekeeping, and that endless parade of nurses to deal with. My mom called close to noon to tell us that she was almost there, but she was lost. Around the same time, Aaron and Tani were on their way to bring us lunch. It was a close race, but my mom managed to show up before Aaron and Tani and was officially the first family member to meet Alaina. The visits continued throughout the day, and by that night, Alaina had met our friend Kathleen, her Nonna (Philip’s mom), her grandparents on the Kanjuka side, her great-aunt Liz, and her Uncle Boots (Christopher). Our doula Nancy also stopped by (with her daughter Piper) to check in on us and make sure things were going well. That was a lot of people for such a new baby to meet, but she handled it very well!
Wednesday came way too quickly, and that morning it was time for us to check out of the hospital. Of course that didn’t mean that the parade of people slowed down at all. Alaina’s pediatrician stopped by the hospital that morning to examine her, and she mentioned Alaina’s long fingers and toes when she came in to talk to me. After going over our discharge papers, getting Alaina dressed and ready to go, and figuring out how to get her in the car seat, we were ready to go. Given how nervous I was about the prospect of taking care of my new daughter on Monday night, I was surprisingly ready to get started when it came time to leave the hospital. I was excited about our new adventure and ready to get back home.
When we got home, I went in first and Philip carried Alaina into the house in her car seat. I wanted to make sure I was available to greet Chloe first before we introduced her to her new sister. We walked in to find my mom and Philip’s mom waiting for us. They had decorated the house with flowers, signs, and toys, and were anxious to help us get in and get settled. Chloe was definitely excited to see us, but she had no idea what to do about Alaina. Since she hadn’t really been around kids, let alone babies, Chloe seemed confused about what this new thing was that we had come home with. Every time Alaina cried, Chloe barked or growled at her. She was never threatening, but she was obviously confused. Hopefully, she will grow to be Alaina’s friend and protector.
I sat on the couch with Alaina for a long time, just enjoying the feeling of being home and holding her close. I held her a little too long, though, and she managed to have a blow-out in her pants that was coming out front of the diaper by her belly button! So that was outfit change #1 in what’s probably going to be a never-ending cycle of them. Philip’s mom spent the afternoon with us, but went home right before dinner. My mom had made stroganoff for us—per my request—so we didn’t have to worry about cooking. We had a nice first night home J
Thursday morning, my mom got ready to leave and we got ready for a visit from Alaina’s honorary Aunt Terri, who was kind enough to bring us lunch. Thursday night brought Aaron and Tani back, this time with Kati in tow, as they were elected to be the first people in a chain of our wonderful friends from the triathlete community who made sure we didn’t starve during our first week at home (more on that in a later post). Tani made us butternut squash soup, which seems to have become a staple among the four of us, and paired it with a salad and bread. After they left, it was time for us to spend our first night at home alone with Alaina. She slept in our room in her pack-and-play, which I dragged close enough to my side of the bed that I could reach out and touch her if I wanted. We spent those first few nights sleeping with the bathroom light on because I wanted to be able to see her if she started fussing in the middle of the night.
On Friday morning, Alaina had her first doctor’s appointment, so we had our first outing with her. We did pretty well with getting her all packed up and in the car, and even made it to our appointment on time. The doctor’s appointment went well, but Alaina’s pediatrician was afraid that she looked a little jaundiced, so she sent us across the street to the Children’s Hospital satellite office to get a blood test done. Alaina was a trooper during the test, I don’t think she even noticed. Of course Philip had to hold her while she had it done because I couldn’t stand to watch. So much for the experience of giving birth helping me to get over my needle issues (again, this is why I didn’t have an epidural!). On our way home we stopped at Babies R Us to pick up a few things, and that was Alaina’s first trip to a store!
Friday night we got another great dinner from a Just-Tri teammate—Becky Nation. And Friday night my parents came to visit. It was the first time my dad met Alaina, so that was pretty special. Of course he had to bring her big stuffed animals (let’s hope this isn’t going to be a forever trend!). My sister Sarah also came to visit from D.C. and she seemed pretty happy to meet her new niece.
On Saturday, Philip took Alaina back to get another blood test to check for jaundice. Her levels were looking good and going in the right direction, but her pediatrician just wanted to make sure that everything was ok. It was his first trip out alone with her, and it went perfectly. She was an angel again during the test (poor thing had more pricks in her heels than any baby should). Later that day, we had a repeat of our experience in the hospital in that the whole world was back at our house. We were lucky that my parents decided to stay at a hotel, so we had some space, but they were back Saturday afternoon. Christopher showed up too, followed by Philip’s dad, Lynn, Brigitte, and Liz. It seemed like no one could get enough of baby Alaina. They took turns holding her and taking tons of pictures. She was a real trooper for a while, but late in the afternoon she and I both got a little over stimulated, and decided to go take a nap. Philip’s family went back home, and my family went out to find some dinner and more presents for the baby. That was our first experience with trying to find a balance between making everyone happy and keeping ourselves sane, and it was tough. We’ve always just kind of gone with the flow when it comes to our families, and sometimes that can be difficult because no one makes hard and fast plans. Things just kind of happen whenever they happen…people sleep until noon, eventually we have meals, sometimes we find ourselves wandering around the mall, etc. But life with a baby isn’t as flexible as all of that, and we have to remember that she needs to eat and sleep on her schedule, otherwise we’re in for a tough time!
My intention when I sat down to write this post was to really document Alaina’s first days, including the people who were excited to meet her and the joy she’s brought to our family so that someday she will see how many people she met in her first days, and how grateful we were for all of their love and support. I was going to do a week-by-week commentary, but as I type this, I think it’s taken me about a month of putting this post aside and coming back to it to get to this point. And Alaina is 9 weeks old today. Which means I’m terribly behind! If I have any hope of keeping this blog going, I think I’m going to have to skip a lot of the things I’ve already missed from those first weeks. That makes me sad, but such is life with a newborn!
