Five Months!

Tomorrow Alaina turns five months old. Five months! All at once it seems like time is flying by and creeping. That could be due to the crazy amount of stuff we need to do every day to keep up with all of our commitments, and it most definitely has something to do with lack of sleep and the fact that at least one of us is now sick at all times. Since Alaina started daycare she’s had a stuffy nose, pink eye, a cough, a few days with a fever, and who knows what else. I’ve been sick twice, and Philip has been sick at least once. We used to be so healthy in our house. Now that we have a baby in daycare, friends assure us that it’s normal for all of us to be sick for most of the first year. YEAR?!?! Ugh. I don’t know if we’re going to make it. On a positive note, I’ve also been told that once we get through this initial onslaught of illness, Alaina should have a rock solid immune system and will be much less likely to contract every little virus. Here’s hoping that that’s the truth.

I imagine much has changed as Alaina continues to learn and grow, but it’s becoming harder to remember when she learned how to do this or that. In my last post, I mentioned that she found her feet around my birthday, and it took her until Memorial Day to figure out how to get her toes in her mouth. 

It’s still the cutest thing ever (I don’t consider her feet to be gross yet because she’s not using them to stomp around yet). And although she rolled over a few times that weekend, she didn’t really get the hang of it until last weekend (6/1). Now she’s only on her stomach for a few seconds at a time because she rolls right over. I have to admit that I’m guilty of putting her on her stomach much more often than I used to just because I want to see her roll. (You can see her roll here.)

We’ve also had a lot more success with rice cereal. There are still days when she’s not interested in it at all, but other times she’s really excited to get that food in her mouth. She even makes a little noise when I stick the spoon in her mouth…maybe mimicking the “mmmm” that I’ve been saying all along? Alaina had her 4 month check-up a few weeks ago (about 2 weeks later than it should have been, but that’s the schedule we’re on with the doctor’s office), and we got the go ahead to start fruits and vegetables at five months. For some reason I’ve been really anxious to let her try new foods lately, I guess just because I love each and every new experience with her, so I imagine we’ll get around to that sooner than later. I’m currently contemplating making pureed foods for her instead of buying her jars of who-knows-what at the store. It doesn’t seem like a difficult task, just something else to take up time in my day. I’ve also read a bit about a practice called “baby led weaning” where people give their babies pieces of “real” food instead of mush and let them work at figuring out how to handle it, and I’m thinking of trying some of that too. She’s so good at putting absolutely everything straight into her mouth…I’d love to give her a cooked carrot or a piece of banana and see how she reacts to it. Of course that’s opening things up for a gigantic mess, which will make meal times take much longer than they need to. So we’ll see which way we go with that.

At her four month check-up, Alaina was 13 lbs. 11 oz. and 24 ¼ inches long (at least I’m pretty sure those were the measurements). The doctor checked her ability to sit up with assistance (she’s been doing that for months) and a few other things that she is, of course, awesome at. I get pretty excited when I read lists of the “milestones” babies should be hitting in this month or that and I see that in many ways Alaina is way ahead of the curve. On the other hand, there are things that she could be doing already that she’s not. So it’s a bit too early to diagnose her as a total genius, and we need to remember that. One day I told her that I don’t care if she grows up to work at McDonald’s because I’ll love her no matter what, and I hope to be able to keep that promise. 

Also at her four month check-up, Alaina was diagnosed with pink eye – her first “real” illness with a name and a treatment, not just “mystery virus x” that we just had to wait out. Luckily, her eye never really seemed to bother her—she just had some greenish goop in her eye for a few days—but that’s probably related to the fever she had for the next two days. Her doctor’s appointment was on a Monday, and her school called me on my way to pick Alaina up to let me know that she had a fever. I wasn’t overly concerned since we were on our way to the doctor anyhow, but the fever meant that she couldn’t get her four month shots that day (which I didn’t want her to have to get anyhow, but I wanted to get that over with) and that she couldn’t go back to school until she was fever-free for at least 24 hours. Her doctor warned us that the fever could last for several days, and as it turned out she did have it through Wednesday, so I just decided to keep her out of school for the rest of the week to give her some germ-free time. I was lucky enough to be able to work from home that week, and Lainey was the perfect patient. She got a little cranky when her head was hurting…mostly just laying around moaning…but Tylenol was her friend on those days and she perked up quickly after each dose. She did sleep a lot, which allowed me to get my work done, but it was nice to get to spend time with her like that again. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’m dying to quit my job and become a stay-at-home mom, but there is something so appealing about not having to get ready to face the world every day!

(I should mention that Alaina did get her shots the next week. I still was sick inside thinking about it, so Philip bravely took her into the exam room and held her while I waited in the waiting room. She took it much better than she took her two month shots, thankfully. Maybe next time I won’t be so nervous. Yeah right.)

After her week at home, we ventured to Cleveland for Memorial Day because it was my grandma's birthday and my cousin Melanie and her kids were in town. I can't remember the last time I saw Melanie in Cleveland, but I suspect that it was at her baby shower when she was pregnant with her daughter who is now 5 years old! The last time I saw her anywhere was in Washington D.C. about a year and a half ago when she was pregnant with her son, who turned 1 recently. So it was nice to see them and to see other family and to let them see how much Alaina has grown and changed since the last time we visited.

So as we close in on Alaina’s sixth month, I am still counting my blessings because I have such a happy, easy-going, adorable kid. I guess that could mean that she’s going to be a crazy toddler or that we’re going to be pulling our hair out when she’s a teenager (if we still have hair). These days I catch myself looking at older kids and feeling sad about the fact that Alaina’s not going to be a baby forever. I never understood how fun and entertaining babies could be until that little girl stole my heart. I’m sure we’ll have our ups and downs, but I hope that no matter how old she gets, and how independent she becomes, that Alaina will still let us share her joys and discoveries with her.

Happy Mother's Day

I feel that it's only fitting that I post an update about Alaina on Mother's Day. How far we have come from a year ago when I was "technically" a mother, but didn't really know it yet! To say that that little girl has changed my life would be an understatement. She's four months old now, and I still don't think I understand the many ways that my life has changed forever. But one thing I do know is that being a mom is better than I ever expected it to be. And apparently it shows....Just last night at dinner, Philip and Christopher were talking about how they can *see* a change in me that's happened only since Alaina has been in my life. I already know that I smile more. And apparently I *glow* more too. But who wouldn't smile more when they had an adorable face ready to smile right back? And who wouldn't glow when they got to look forward to watching that cute kid explore and learn new things each and every day? I tell Alaina often that she is the best baby I've ever had (I don't want her to be too full of herself, after all). And she truly is the sweetest, most easy going baby I've ever known. On this day and every day I am so lucky to have her in my world. :)

Now for the Alaina update - The last time I posted was about a month ago when I went back to work and Alaina went to daycare for the first time. That's still our weekly routine, and it seems to be going well (other than the stuffy nose that Alaina just can't seem to shake that I know is the result of all of those snotty kids touching her!).Ever since Alaina was born I've been telling her that she's not allowed to get bigger...not allowed to grow up. But seeing her learn how to do new things is so exciting. Just a few weeks ago, Alaina gave me several gifts for my birthday in the form of new things that she learned how to do. All along, I've been blowing raspberries at Alaina with my tongue (at least that's the best way I can describe it), and I swear she started sticking her tongue out at me when she was only a few weeks old. Well, she surprised the heck out of me on my birthday weekend when she started actually trying to blow raspberries back at me (see a video here). That same weekend she found her feet, and ever since she's been waving them in the air and grabbing at them with her hands. I don't know why that is so adorable to me, but it really is (maybe because I love her feet so much?). She also rolled over from her stomach to her back a few times while we were doing "tummy time." She hasn't quite gotten the hang of that one yet, but I know it's coming.

This weekend, I decided to introduce Lainey to "real food" in the form of rice cereal. We had a REALLLY long week, and I got very little sleep, so I guess I was hoping that giving her some solid food would help her sleep through the night as the legends go. Alaina was doing great in terms of sleeping....going to sleep around 9 ish and then getting up once to have a quick bottle and go back to sleep. A week or so ago, she started waking up sometime between 12 and 1, again in the middle of the night, and then between 6:30 and 7 to get ready for school. I think the reason she started getting up again was because she hasn't been feeling well, and - at least according to her daycare teacher - she wants a bottle because that's what she uses to comfort herself right now. I guess that makes sense, huh? The only problem was that I was going to bed WAY too late, and I would end up having to wake up again an hour or less after I fell asleep. Not good. So back to the cereal thing. I bought a box of rice cereal, and got all excited to give her her first taste on Friday night. We got her all set up in her fresh-out-of-the-box highchair and got the cameras and iPhones ready to record the event. She looked confused before we even started, but when I tried to put some of the cereal in her mouth, the confusion turned into anger! She did not want that strange stuff in her mouth! I think she accidentally swallowed a little bit of it, but I'm glad we didn't lay down tarps all over the kitchen and put on our haz-mat suits like Philip and Christopher thought we might need to because it was a total non-event. Oh well. We'll try again in a week or so.

Today, Philip and I were in Babies R Us looking at the amazing amount of stuff in the bottle aisle when I noticed that some of the sippy cups are "rated" for kids 4 months and up. Alaina just turned 4 months this week, and she's been showing interest in holding her bottle for a while now. Sometimes when she holds it she guides it toward her mouth, and other times she violently shoves it in the other direction :) But pretty much anything she gets ahold of goes in her mouth, so it's hard to know if she understands what she's doing or if it's just a reflex at this point. Anyhow, I put a few ounces of formula in the sippy cup and showed Alaina how to hold the handles and she did great! I know she liked chewing on the rubbery part of the cup that goes in her mouth, and she was very good about guiding it in there. I think she may have actually gotten some formula out too (sippy cups have amazing "technology" these days that allows the kids to hold them upside down without dripping any liquid, but I think they have to actually suck on them to get liquid out). At one point she did turn the cup upside down and start licking the bottom of the cup...but she's learning!

Back to Life

After almost a year of great big life changing events, this week (hopefully) marks the last big adjustment we’ll have to make in a while. On Monday, I went back to work and Alaina had her first day at school.

I can’t really say I was looking forward to going back to work, but after being out for 14 weeks, I wasn’t dreading it quite as much as I had expected to. I love Alaina more and more every day, and having the chance to spend almost every minute of her first few months watching her grow and change was one of the greatest experiences of my life. At the same time, having a life that revolves around diaper and feeding schedules was starting to get to me. And knowing that there are some things I should have been doing as a parent that would have been good for Alaina and me (like putting her down for regular naps) that I just couldn’t get into the habit of doing just proved to me that going back to work might be good for both of us.

This year marks my 11^th year of working for The McGraw-Hill Companies, so going back to work should have been a matter of settling back into an old routine. I was a little nervous about it, though, because not only did I leave just as my first big project was getting started, but the company also closed the building I was working in while I was out and moved the people from that location back to the Polaris building, which is where I started 11 years ago. Although I was glad to be working in a building that’s closer to home and much nicer than the Easton building I left in December, a lot has changed at Polaris since the last time I was there, and I was afraid I would feel like a kid starting at a new school. For a few weeks, I toyed with the idea of bringing Alaina in to the Polaris building to introduce her to my friends (and to have them show me where my new desk was). I put it off until the last possible moment, but I did end up bringing her up there last Friday. And I’m really glad I did. Seeing old friends and getting my bearings in the “new” building before my first day made me feel much better about coming back. It reminded me that although working in a cube farm isn’t always glamorous, I do like my job and the friends that I’ve made, and that helps me get through the day. I wish I could say that the project I left was a little farther along than it is (like completely finished, maybe), but that’s not so much the case. Oh well. That just means that I’ll have less time to waste while I’m at work, which also means less time to miss the kid.

I felt the same way about taking Alaina to school as I did about going to work. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to being away from her all day, but I didn’t see it as being the end of the world, either. I know there’s a lot of controversy in some circles about whether we can ruin our kids by putting them in school too soon (or even at all), and that some people think it’s disgraceful to let people at daycare “raise” your kids. A part of me certainly agrees with that idea. The fact that I got pregnant and chose to bring a child into this world means that I am responsible for making sure she gets the best possible care and has the best possible opportunities to grow up and become a successful member of society. At the same time, I know enough about myself to know that I’m not cut out to give a tiny person the kind of patient attention she needs 24 hours a day.

Philip and I began our search for a school for Alaina last September. That was actually one of the first things we did because it was a straightforward task that I understood how to accomplish (unlike all of the other planning we had to do to get ready for our first baby). And thank goodness we did it so early because those places have waiting lists! I think we toured only 3 schools, each of them unique in their own way. The first was a brand new facility that seemed nice enough, if not a little sparse and empty because there were hardly any kids enrolled at the time. But given the location and the fact that we didn’t need childcare for 6 more months at that time, I figured they had time to work some of that stuff out. The second facility was one that I drove by every day on my way to work. I’d always wondered what kind of place it was because on the outside it kind of reminded me of the daycare I went to when I was little. But I was less than impressed with what I saw on the inside.  It just seemed so institutional and….used. Given those two options, I was feeling pretty good about the first place, but I don’t think Philip was convinced. On a whim, we decided to visit one more school late one afternoon, and that’s when we discovered Primrose.

                The Primrose location we visited is in Lewis Center. I didn’t even know it was there until I started researching daycare centers, and I had never heard of Primrose schools. Actually, that’s not true. One of our neighbors has a Primrose magnet on her car, but since I’ve never seen schools advertised like that before, I figured it was some kind of elite private school that her kids went to. Not so. At it’s core, Primrose is very similar to the other schools we visited or looked into. They all have their own “curriculums,”  and most of the classrooms are very similar. But what immediately struck me about the Primrose in Lewis Center was that it feels like a private school when you walk in. Instead of cinderblock walls and white tile floors, Primrose has wood floors and wood trim on the nicely painted walls (which are not painted in primary colors, which I’m not a big fan of). We happened to arrive right when parents were starting to come to pick up their kids, and it was nice to see every family stop at the front desk to chat with the staff and to see that the staff knew everyone by name. As we took our tour, the thing that I was most excited to learn was that each school has its own chef, and that instead of serving just crackers and juice at every turn, they actually offer fruits and vegetables and other nutritious options. Overall, I think Primrose felt so much more comfortable and cheerful to me, and I think Philip agreed. I left that visit saying “we’ve got to find a way to get our kid into this school!”

Unfortunately, the Lewis Center Primrose didn’t have an opening in their Infant room until September of 2012, which was too late. After doing some quick research, we found another Primrose location that was still pretty convenient, and we toured that location as well. I still had the warm and fuzzies after that tour, and was so excited to hear that they had an opening in April of 2012, which was exactly what we needed. I don’t know how we got that lucky (I heard this week that their waiting list now stretches to September of 2013), but I’m so glad we did!

Alaina was exactly 12 weeks old on her first day of school. In a way, I think that was a good thing because she didn’t have the awareness to be nervous or scared or sad that we had to drop her off and leave her somewhere new all day. We visited her classroom a few times in the weeks leading up to her first day, mostly so that I could get acclimated to the idea of leaving her there, but also so she could maybe get a little familiar with it. Spending time in that room and watching the teachers handle the constant diaper changes and feeding schedules while also finding time to read books, sing songs, and do simple art projects certainly gave me a respect for what they do. And it reminded me that Alaina would be experiencing things at school that she couldn’t get at home.

So now it’s Friday afternoon and I’m counting the minutes until I can shut down my computer and go pick up my kickie pants. My first few days at the office were pretty good—people came to chat all the time and I slowly eased back into having tasks to complete. I actually didn’t feel too badly about having to sit in this cube. But I’m over it now. Before I came back I submitted a proposal to telecommute full time. It hasn’t been rejected yet, but it also hasn’t been approved. That’s one of the things that keeps me from falling back into the work rut that I was in before I left. Alaina, on the other hand, has done wonderfully at school. She’s eating and napping on a more regular schedule, and she came home two out of the last four days with paint underneath her nails (one day it was fingers and one day it was toes). Last night we got her first official artwork from school (a bunny with her footprints on the ears). And suddenly all the girl wants to do all evening is sleep. For the past two nights she’s fallen asleep a little after 6 and hasn’t wanted to wake up again until around 6 the next morning. It makes me a little sad that I don’t get to interact with her as much during the day, but I guess I really shouldn’t complain about a baby who sleeps through the night!

Alaina's first day of school.

More Videos

I uploaded a few more Alaina videos recently, but when I upload them from my phone, they don't automatically get added to the Alaina playlist. I'm still trying to figure this whole technology thing out, I guess. In any case, I know you can subscribe to her channel to see when there are updates :)

Alaina's First Week (A Post That Was A Long Time Coming!)

Alaina’s first few weeks have been full of friends and family. Although we are obviously not fanatics about germs, Philip and I have wondered if we aren’t being cautious enough in allowing so many people to come and visit. Luckily, our friends and family have been smart enough to postpone their visits if they aren’t feeling well, and so far none of us has been sick at all. We have also limited our trips out with Alaina, mostly because there haven’t been many places that we needed to take her and also because it’s just easier for one or the other of us to run errands alone than it is to bundle everyone up and venture out together. I’m hoping that it won’t be too hard for us to get used to toting a baby and all of her gear around, but I’m in no hurry to do so.

I’ve already written my story of Alaina’s entrance into the world, which was obviously the most important thing that happened that day. But I want to remember some other things about that day that I didn’t include in the story of my labor.

After Alaina was born and we had spent some time marveling in her perfectness, Philip and I got on our phones and started texting and calling people to let them know that she had arrived. Philip and I had spent many hours talking about what would happen when I went into labor (which never really happened), and how and when we would let people know either that she was coming or that she was here. Many of our family members told us that they wanted to be at the hospital when she was born, but I was concerned about the logistics that would be involved in that. The fact that they all live at least 2 hours away, we had no idea when labor would start, and we had no idea how long it would take all added up to an equation that I couldn’t figure out how to solve. I didn’t want people to come rushing down only to have to wait in a waiting room for hours or days. I also didn’t want Philip to be distracted by providing updates through the whole process. So in the end, although Philip was worried about upsetting our families, we decided not to let anyone know what was going on until Alaina was here. It was kind of surreal to be sitting in the delivery room holding my brand new baby and talking on the phone. But that’s how the world works these days (at least that’s how our world works). The first person I called was my mom, and I swear the first thing she said was “why didn’t you call me sooner!” Of course she immediately tried to figure out how quickly she could get to Columbus. I also talked to my dad and texted my sisters and some friends while Philip spread the news to his family. Since it was already so late in the day, everyone decided that they would give us some time and hold off on coming to visit until the next day.

We spent about 2 hours in the delivery room after Alaina was born. During that time, nurses kept pushing on my abdomen to see if my body was starting to return to normal, which it wasn’t because my bladder was too full from all of the fluids that I’d gotten through my IV. The nurse told me I’d have to empty my bladder before they let me go upstairs, but my body just wasn’t interested in that. In the end, the nurse had to use a catheter to empty my bladder. Amazingly, after all I’d already been through that day, the procedure was a piece of cake and didn’t really bother me at all (I wish I could say that having a baby cured me of my phobias about having medical procedures done to me, but that carelessness only lasted until I was out of the delivery room).

Eventually, we were moved up to the recovery floor and into a room right across from the nurses’ station. The nurses who brought us up there tried to tell us that being that close to the desk would be a good thing for us, but the only thing it did was keep me awake when they decided to chat at 5 in the morning. Once we got settled in our room, a nurse came in to talk to us about baby care and to give Alaina her first bath. Philip learned how to swaddle Alaina in the blankets to turn her into a baby burrito (and still does it much better than I do). As the nurse was going over feeding schedules and teaching Alaina how to suck on the bottle, I realized that it was actually going to be up to us to keep track of all of that stuff and to keep this helpless baby alive. Needless to say, I experienced my first moment of panic. I think it was part exhaustion, part drugs (I found out later that they had given me vicodin for my pain when I thought they had only given me Motrin), but I was sure there was no way we were going to be able to keep all of that stuff straight.

By the time the nurses got all of the information they wanted from us and finished teaching us the basics of newborn care, it was almost 10 p.m. Our friends Aaron and Tani had offered to bring us some dinner, but by the time we were able to get in touch with them, Tani had fallen asleep (who could blame her?). Throughout my pregnancy I had told everyone that I wanted my reward for giving birth to be some French fries (some things never change). But since it was so late and we weren’t really very close to many restaurants, our options were limited. As it turned out, Philip went to McDonald’s and got us a late dinner. I know some people despise McDonald’s and try to never eat there, and I can understand that. Personally, I have McDonald’s only a few times a year…usually when I’m desperate for a quick meal that includes fries. It may not have been the best option available, but after a long day of labor and no food, I think almost anything would have tasted good.

That first night at the hospital I think Philip and I were up until 1 or 2 in the morning just coming down off the excitement and amazement of what had happened that day. We kept reliving the events of the day and sharing our perspectives on what had happened. And of course, we kept admiring our new daughter and reminding each other that she was really ours to keep. Eventually, we asked the nurses to take Alaina to the nursery. That was a tough decision for me because I didn’t really want to be away from her. At the same time, I was nervous about taking care of her and feeding her at the right times, and I knew she’d be in good hands with the nurses. We were also reminded that we’d had a looooong few days and that this would be our last chance to have around-the-clock help with our new baby, so we opted to get a few hours of rest on our own.

The next morning, the nurses started coming in our room to check on me probably every hour or so starting around 6. It wasn’t so bad though, because we were expecting to have a long, full day of visitors, so Philip and I knew we needed to get up and get ready. As soon as he was dressed, Philip went to retrieve Alaina from the nursery. While he was gone (what seemed like forever), I heard an emergency call come through at the nurses’ station. I was terrified that they were talking about my baby…it was the longest 5 minutes ever. Soon after, Philip came wheeling Alaina into the room in her bassinet, and I almost jumped down his throat for taking so long.

Given how excited she seemed, we expected my mom to show up at about 7 that morning, but she didn’t make it down until closer to noon. That was also ok, because the parade of hospital people never stopped. First came the photographer with her little cart. She took pictures of Alaina and easily convinced us to buy the premium package by showing us a slideshow of Alaina’s pictures set to music that instantly had me weeping (and would still, if I heard it right now). We also had paperwork to fill out (birth certificate, etc.) meal delivery, housekeeping, and that endless parade of nurses to deal with. My mom called close to noon to tell us that she was almost there, but she was lost. Around the same time, Aaron and Tani were on their way to bring us lunch. It was a close race, but my mom managed to show up before Aaron and Tani and was officially the first family member to meet Alaina. The visits continued throughout the day, and by that night, Alaina had met our friend Kathleen, her Nonna (Philip’s mom), her grandparents on the Kanjuka side, her great-aunt Liz, and her Uncle Boots (Christopher). Our doula Nancy also stopped by (with her daughter Piper) to check in on us and make sure things were going well. That was a lot of people for such a new baby to meet, but she handled it very well!

Wednesday came way too quickly, and that morning it was time for us to check out of the hospital. Of course that didn’t mean that the parade of people slowed down at all. Alaina’s pediatrician stopped by the hospital that morning to examine her, and she mentioned Alaina’s long fingers and toes when she came in to talk to me. After going over our discharge papers, getting Alaina dressed and ready to go, and figuring out how to get her in the car seat, we were ready to go. Given how nervous I was about the prospect of taking care of my new daughter on Monday night, I was surprisingly ready to get started when it came time to leave the hospital. I was excited about our new adventure and ready to get back home.

When we got home, I went in first and Philip carried Alaina into the house in her car seat. I wanted to make sure I was available to greet Chloe first before we introduced her to her new sister. We walked in to find my mom and Philip’s mom waiting for us. They had decorated the house with flowers, signs, and toys, and were anxious to help us get in and get settled. Chloe was definitely excited to see us, but she had no idea what to do about Alaina. Since she hadn’t really been around kids, let alone babies, Chloe seemed confused about what this new thing was that we had come home with. Every time Alaina cried, Chloe barked or growled at her. She was never threatening, but she was obviously confused. Hopefully, she will grow to be Alaina’s friend and protector.

I sat on the couch with Alaina for a long time, just enjoying the feeling of being home and holding her close. I held her a little too long, though, and she managed to have a blow-out in her pants that was coming out front of the diaper by her belly button! So that was outfit change #1 in what’s probably going to be a never-ending cycle of them. Philip’s mom spent the afternoon with us, but went home right before dinner. My mom had made stroganoff for us—per my request—so we didn’t have to worry about cooking. We had a nice first night home J

Thursday morning, my mom got ready to leave and we got ready for a visit from Alaina’s honorary Aunt Terri, who was kind enough to bring us lunch. Thursday night brought Aaron and Tani back, this time with Kati in tow, as they were elected to be the first people in a chain of our wonderful friends from the triathlete community who made sure we didn’t starve during our first week at home (more on that in a later post). Tani made us butternut squash soup, which seems to have become a staple among the four of us, and paired it with a salad and bread. After they left, it was time for us to spend our first night at home alone with Alaina. She slept in our room in her pack-and-play, which I dragged close enough to my side of the bed that I could reach out and touch her if I wanted. We spent those first few nights sleeping with the bathroom light on because I wanted to be able to see her if she started fussing in the middle of the night.

On Friday morning, Alaina had her first doctor’s appointment, so we had our first outing with her. We did pretty well with getting her all packed up and in the car, and even made it to our appointment on time. The doctor’s appointment went well, but Alaina’s pediatrician was afraid that she looked a little jaundiced, so she sent us across the street to the Children’s Hospital satellite office to get a blood test done. Alaina was a trooper during the test, I don’t think she even noticed. Of course Philip had to hold her while she had it done because I couldn’t stand to watch. So much for the experience of giving birth helping me to get over my needle issues (again, this is why I didn’t have an epidural!). On our way home we stopped at Babies R Us to pick up a few things, and that was Alaina’s first trip to a store!

Friday night we got another great dinner from a Just-Tri teammate—Becky Nation. And Friday night my parents came to visit. It was the first time my dad met Alaina, so that was pretty special. Of course he had to bring her big stuffed animals (let’s hope this isn’t going to be a forever trend!). My sister Sarah also came to visit from D.C. and she seemed pretty happy to meet her new niece.

On Saturday, Philip took Alaina back to get another blood test to check for jaundice. Her levels were looking good and going in the right direction, but her pediatrician just wanted to make sure that everything was ok. It was his first trip out alone with her, and it went perfectly. She was an angel again during the test (poor thing had more pricks in her heels than any baby should). Later that day, we had a repeat of our experience in the hospital in that the whole world was back at our house. We were lucky that my parents decided to stay at a hotel, so we had some space, but they were back Saturday afternoon. Christopher showed up too, followed by Philip’s dad, Lynn, Brigitte, and Liz. It seemed like no one could get enough of baby Alaina. They took turns holding her and taking tons of pictures. She was a real trooper for a while, but late in the afternoon she and I both got a little over stimulated, and decided to go take a nap. Philip’s family went back home, and my family went out to find some dinner and more presents for the baby. That was our first experience with trying to find a balance between making everyone happy and keeping ourselves sane, and it was tough. We’ve always just kind of gone with the flow when it comes to our families, and sometimes that can be difficult because no one makes hard and fast plans. Things just kind of happen whenever they happen…people sleep until noon, eventually we have meals, sometimes we find ourselves wandering around the mall, etc. But life with a baby isn’t as flexible as all of that, and we have to remember that she needs to eat and sleep on her schedule, otherwise we’re in for a tough time!

My intention when I sat down to write this post was to really document Alaina’s first days, including the people who were excited to meet her and the joy she’s brought to our family so that someday she will see how many people she met in her first days, and how grateful we were for all of their love and support. I was going to do a week-by-week commentary, but as I type this, I think it’s taken me about a month of putting this post aside and coming back to it to get to this point. And Alaina is 9 weeks old today. Which means I’m terribly behind! If I have any hope of keeping this blog going, I think I’m going to have to skip a lot of the things I’ve already missed from those first weeks. That makes me sad, but such is life with a newborn!

Alaina's Channel

You may already know this--but just in case you don't--I've created a private channel on YouTube and I've been uploading videos of Alaina to it. You can watch Alaina's videos here!

Mommy Fail #2

In the category of how to figure out how to do previously ordinary things with a baby in tow is figuring out how to go shopping. Stores with carts are helpful because I can just bring Alaina into the store in just her car seat instead of bringing her in the stroller. However, carts aren't necessarily built to hold car seats very well...nor should they be. The first time Philip and I took Alaina to the grocery store, my sister Sarah was with us. We stood by the carts for the longest time trying to figure out the right way to position the car seat in the little front part where bigger kids usually sit, but we weren't satisfied with the results, so we eventually put Alaina's seat in the basket of one big cart, and Philip pushed a smaller one alongside us. He insisted that we put all of the groceries in his cart--probably so we wouldn't forget to pay for any of them. Since that trip, I've figured out the magical balancing act that allows me to put the car seat in the front of the cart, but we still sometimes put it in the basket if we're just picking up a few things.

Which brings me to my mommy fail. Last week, my mom was in town visiting. I needed to pick up a few things, and she wanted to go to Meijer because she'd recently gotten her dog, Lucy, some canned food there that she couldn't find in Cleveland. My brother Christopher was with us, and he followed us around the store, pushing the cart as we filled the area around the car seat with our odds and ends. We decided to use the self checkouts, and we stopped to sort through which things in the cart were mine and which were my mom's. My mom had picked up some donut holes in a plastic box from the bakery, and as I was sorting through the cart, I put them on top of the car seat, right above Alaina's head. It seemed like an ok thing to do at the time, but the next time I looked, the donuts had slid down and ended up sitting on top of Alaina's face. Again, she didn't really freak out about my fail--hopefully because the donuts weren't there long enough for her to even realize what was going on. Needless to say, I won't be doing that again!

Mommy Fail #1

Honestly, I'm sure this is not the first thing I've done wrong since Alaina was born, but it's the first one I thought to record. If she's lucky, it will be the last one too. But odds for that aren't great. So here it goes...

I took Alaina out with me today when I met a friend for lunch. After lunch, I decided to go to Babies R Us because it was right down the street. Since Alaina is still new, she travels everywhere in her car seat. This is good for her because she can sit comfortably (I hope) as we go from place to place, and if she falls asleep we don't have to wake her. Plus, since it's winter, she can stay snug and warm under the fleecy car seat cover. The downside of this setup is that the seat is awkward and heavy for me to carry. Worse yet is trying to get it into the middle of the back seat of the car. Which is where today's mommy fail comes in. I have two options when putting the car seat in the car--put the car seat part of the way into the car and then climb in after it so i can get it positioned correctly, or close my eyes and push it in as far as I can and hope that it lands in the base. Today i chose obtion B. And i missed. Instead of landing squarely in the base, Alaina's seat went a bit too far and ended up toppling over toward the opposite door. Of course i totally panicked and got it back upright as soon as possible only to see Alaina smiling a huge, wide-eyed smile in her seat. She wasn't fazed a bit by the trip. In fact, I think she enjoyed it. Do I have a future daredevil on my hands?

This is Alaina in her seat on the day we brought her home from the hospital. Those harnesses really do the job!

My Favorite Things

Last week I posted a list of my favorite things about Alaina's first month. I made a new page on our blog where I can collect these sorts of things, and I guess when I do that blogger doesn't send out an email to people following the blog to let them know. So here's a link to the new page...hopefully it will work:

The Memory Place Page

Happy Birthday Alaina! (labor and delivery from Amy's POV)

One of the drawbacks of having a smooth pregnancy is the fact that I had no idea when Alaina was going to decide to make her appearance. There is plenty of controversy these days about people who schedule C-sections or even just inductions to fit their own schedules or desires instead of letting nature take its course. And then, of course, there are plenty of people who schedule their babies' birthdays because of medical issues. Personally, I always wanted to wait until Alaina--and my body--were ready, even if it meant going well past my "due date" (which is really just a "guess date," btw). Not knowing when our baby was going to arrive started to take its toll on us, though. Personally, I was getting more uncomfortable and just overall frustrated with my body, but I didn't know that I was really ready to move into the next stage. Philip, on the other hand, had been telling Alaina for weeks that he was ready to meet her and couldn't wait to see what she looked like. For two people who are not particularly good at planning and who like to get what they want when they want it, waiting for Alaina to come was a challenge.

Our last picture as a family of two

All along Philip seemed sure that Alaina would come early. I think this was reinforced by the fact that everyone we knew who was due to have a baby before us had their baby early (including his cousin, who's wife was actually due on 1/15, the same day as I was). The medical community considers babies to be "full term" at 37 weeks, so once we hit that magical number, it seemed like we needed to be ready to go at any time. I think that's around the time when we finally got serious about packing our bags for the hospital. We made plans for Christmas, New Year's Eve, and beyond, but we made sure to tell everyone that we might or might not actually make it. The last "formal" event that we had to go to was our friend Kathleen's surprise birthday party on January 7th. Philip and I had a frustrated conversation on the way to the party because he was stressed over not knowing when labor might start and just generally tired of waiting. Somehow, I was feeling pretty patient about the whole thing and didn't want to rush things. I was enjoying the time that we had been spending alone together, making plans and preparations and just generally enjoying the fact that we didn't have to go to work knowing that we probably wouldn't have so much free time together again until we retire.

In any case, Philip didn't have to wait for long for the fun to start. At around 1:30 a.m. on 1/8, I woke up because I felt a strange sensation. I had a suspicion that my water had broken, but wasn't sure because I didn't experience that dramatic flood that everyone expects. I stayed still until I felt it again, and then I got up to investigate. A few minutes later, I stood looking at my sleeping husband thinking, "here's the moment you've been waiting for..." I shook him awake and told him the news. His reaction? Lots of shock as his brain tried to process what I was telling him (he doesn't always register conversations he has when he's half asleep....who does?) followed by lots of questions about what we should do. The medical community seems to be split on what a woman should do when her water breaks--in several directions, in fact. Most of the paperwork I got from the doctor and the hospital said that I should head to the hospital as soon as my water broke. Other sources I'd read said that there's a 24 hour window between when the water breaks and when infections can set in, and that if labor doesn't start on its own within that window, a trip to the hospital is in order. Still other sources claimed that for most normal (i.e. responsible, clean) people, infection is more often that not introduced by all the checks they start doing when you get to the hospital, not by sitting at home patiently waiting for nature to get started, and that woman can go for days after their water has broken because the body keeps producing fluid the whole time. Knowing all of these things and hoping to labor at home for as long as possible, I chose not to panic and race to the hospital. Instead, we texted Nancy, our doula, to let her know what was going on. I went back to sleep (no surprise to anyone who knows me), and nervous Philip got up and started cleaning the house (apparently he felt more like nesting than I did).

Sunday passed without much of interest happening. We tried several things to get labor to start--taking long walks, cleaning the house, etc.--but nothing worked. All day I had the kind of "squeezy" Braxton Hicks contractions that I'd been having for months, but they didn't get any stronger or change much at all. All day Philip kept his eye on me for any signs of a change while also keeping Nancy informed about what was (not) happening. Nancy came over around 7 so we could talk about what we should do. She used our kitchen to make cookies for the nurses in L&D, and fed us dinner while we discussed the options. I think Nancy and Philip wanted to go to the hospital within the 24 hour window, but knowing that that would likely mean going to the hospital in the middle of the night, I voted for waiting until morning. My reasoning? I wanted to get some sleep, of course! (knowing that I was probably facing a challenging day ahead) I think I managed to convince both of them to wait a few extra hours until Nancy checked in with a midwife she knows who, after hearing that my Group B Strep test was positive, suggested that we should get to the hospital sooner than later. (For those who don't know, Group B Strep is a bacteria that many people carry without knowing it. It's one of those things that came come and go, so you might test positive for it this month and negative several months later. They test pregnant women for it because babies can get seriously ill if they get it. The solution is to give the mother IV antibiotics during labor so the baby doesn't get sick.) After hearing the advice from the midwife, we decided to try to take a short nap and to head to the hospital around 2 a.m. That conversation upset me because it was starting to sound like deciding to wait 24 hours in the first place was the wrong decision, and I felt like the safety of my baby was out of my hands. I guess that was my first true taste of the helplessness that comes with being a parent sometimes.

At 2 a.m., we packed up the car and headed to the hospital. Uncle Boots had come over to take care of Chloe (and had an interesting run-in with the baby gate at the top of our stairs in the process....one that left him looking like he'd gotten into a bar fight), so we said our good-byes to them and left. As Philip pointed out, it was kind of nice driving calmly to the hospital in the middle of the night with no traffic and no worries. But it was also pretty surreal knowing that our lives were about to change.

On that ride to the hospital, I had myself partially convinced that maybe my water hadn't broken after all. Some women have a hard time knowing whether their water actually broke, or whether they are experiencing a leaky bladder. Given the fact that I hadn't really had an overactive bladder during my whole pregnancy, nor did I ever leak at all when I laughed or coughed, I couldn't imagine that I could get to 39 weeks and then suddenly start leaking that much. But if my water hadn't broken, that would mean that I still had time to get used to the idea of being a mom (as if 9 months wasn't enough time). So part of me had some doubt about what was going on. However, when they checked me at the hospital, there was no doubt that my water had, indeed, broken, and that I was likely going to be having a baby that day (assuming labor didn't take longer than 19 hours).

Because my labor didn't start on it's own, the doctors decided to start me on pitocin to induce me into labor. Using pitocin was never part of my plan because it's an artificial means of starting labor and also because the going wisdom is that contractions caused by pitocin are stronger and more difficult than "natural" contractions. However, part of my plan was to accept whatever needed to happen, so I didn't stress about it too much. After all, pitocin-induced contractions might be harder than natural ones, but I'd never had a natural one, so how would I know the difference?

Anyone who knows me should know that one thing I had been stressing about was the need to get an IV. Hospital policy requires all maternity patients to get a hep lock so they'll have an open IV line in the case of an emergency. I had been trying to figure out a way out of that before I found out about the Strep B, but that little twist meant that I'd need to get a few doses of IV antibiotics during labor anyhow, so there was no longer any possible way out. Adding pitocin to the mix complicated matters even more. Getting antibiotics meant that I'd be hooked up to an IV for about 20 minutes every 4 hours or so. But having pitocin meant that I'd have to be hooked up through my whole labor. When I asked the nurse how that would restrict my ability to move around, she pointed to an area of about 3 square feet and said I'd be able to move around there and in the bed. I could also walk to the bathroom and back (toting my IV pole the whole way....weeeee). But of course the worst part was just getting the IV in place. I guess you could say I have a fear of needles, but I don't know if that's exactly accurate. I know needles don't hurt that much, and that practically no one has died from having a blood test or getting an IV, but some part of my brain believes that those types of activities are the most dangerous ones imaginable. So I shake (uncontrollably), and I sweat, and I get lightheaded. And this can last for quite a while after my run-in with a needle. It's just a bad scene. I explained all of this to the nurse who was waiting to stick me, and I have to give her credit. She spent a lot of time examining my left arm and hand, looking for a decent vein. She finally decided to try working with one in the back of my hand, but warned me that there was a chance that she would "hit a valve." Let me tell you, this is not the kind of thing that anyone should be discussing with a person who is afraid of the procedure. Further more, you should then try to avoid going ahead and hitting a valve, thereby turning the patient's hand into a bloody geyser, which is what happened to me. Luckily, I wasn't watching, but I could feel my hand getting all wet and hear that something wasn't going quite right. After slowing the bleeding and bandaging my hand, said nurse was off to find someone else to try again. Boo. The second nurse to come in and try was also very kind. She offered a shot of lidocaine (i think) to numb my arm, but since that was still going to be a shot, it didn't seem all that appealing to me. Instead, she called down to the ER and asked them to send us some numbing cream to see if that would help. Turns out it didn't help much with the discomfort, but her kindness and patience with me made the process at least a little better.

So after being hooked up to 3 different IV drips (through the same tube, thankfully) and 2 different external monitors (one for contractions and one for Alaina's heartbeat), it was time to get the party started. Philip and Nancy decided to try to get some rest before the hard work started, and suggested that I do the same. I think we all got about 15 minutes or so of "rest" before I had my first contraction. That first one really freaked me out. It hurt! I remember calling for Philip and Nancy, hoping that they would convince me that everything was all right. It was at that point that I shut my eyes and got to work. I hardly opened them again for about 11 hours.

There are lots of things I can say about my labor experience, but I'm not sure how much people will want to read about the down and dirty parts. One thing I can say is that no matter what you do to prepare for labor, I don't think anything can truly prepare you for the experience until you get there. Instead of taking childbirth classes, I opted to get a home study course called Hypnobabies, which taught me how to use "self-hypnosis" to relax and focus. The course included a bunch of hypnosis tracks that I listened to (and fell asleep to most of the time) leading up to my due date, and that I was also supposed to listen to to keep me focused during labor. As it turned out, I had no interest in listening to anything. However, I do think the techniques I learned helped me through. Another way I prepared for labor was to gather a supply of Sport Beans, Honey Stinger Waffles, drink mixes, and so on, to keep me going. I knew that the hospital staff would frown on me eating anything (and it turned out that they didn't even want me to drink anything), but knowing that labor could technically take days...I approached it like I would any other endurance sport. But as with the Hypnobabies stuff, I really had no desire to eat or drink much of anything (after the initial grape popsicles that got me through the first few difficult parts). This resulted in me having the most horrible taste in my mouth after hours of serious breathing (and apparently a ring of purple around my lips from the popsicles).

I can't sugarcoat it though, labor was HARD. Contractions HURT. And being hooked up to a bunch of machines made things just that much worse. There are lots of things about labor that I definitely didn't read in any book or on any blog, so I wasn't quite prepared for what was happening there. Modesty definitely went out the window that day, and all I could do was concentrate on getting through it. I am so grateful that we decided to hire a doula to help us through the whole thing, and we are both so lucky that Nancy was able to work with us. Without Nancy, I'm afraid both of us would have been lost. She took away a lot of our stress and helped us to be comfortable with the whole process of preparing for labor and working through it, and we couldn't have had the experience we did without her help.

In the beginning of labor, I was lucky to be able to use a TENS unit on my back to distract my body from the pain (thank you Christopher), and that helped a lot (although it also added lots more wires). I also quickly found that the most comfortable position for me during contractions was on my hands and knees. Don't ask me how I figured that one out, but once I did, I was afraid to try any other way. In fact, I spent so long in that position that my arms and legs felt like they were going to fall off. And I'm pretty sure that's the reason that two weeks later I still don't have feeling in several of my finger tips.

For the first few hours of labor, I remember fighting through the contractions on my hands and knees and lying down in between. While I was lying down, I somehow managed to drift off into oblivion...almost a dream state. I think that had a lot to do with my Hypnobabies training, so I think that did actually pay off. Eventually, contractions got harder and the TENS unit started to annoy me more than it helped. At some point, Nancy brought out one of her secret weapons. Although I never actually saw it, I think it may have been tennis balls in a sock. Or something completely different. Whatever it was, I wouldn't blame her for regretting that decision because it resulted in she and Philip taking turns rolling that over my back for the next however many hours and I yelled "lower," "higher," "harder," and Philip's personal favorite "stop being distracted!" As the contractions got harder and closer together, I spent more time on my hands and knees and less time lying down. It got to the point where it seemed like too much effort to move that much, so I just stayed up. Many times during this process the nurses checked my "progress," and slowly but surely I got closer to holding Alaina for the first time.

I guess now is the time to note that throughout the whole process I never had any pain medication. Given my already rocky relationship with needles, it should be obvious that I wouldn't be too excited about having one inserted into my spine for an epidural. However, when I'd thought about epidurals before, I figured that there certainly could be a point where the pain of labor was bad enough that I would suck it up and deal with the needle to get relief from the pain. So I never said that I would never get an epidural, it just wasn't part of my conscious plan for labor. Nancy helped us write our "birth plan" with our desires for how labor and delivery would go, and I specifically asked that no one offer me pain meds. And no since no one did, I kept focused on the task at hand and pushed through (quite literally at the end there) until it was over.

So after all of that detail about labor, I'm not really sure what to say about delivery. For one thing, it was kind of like what you see on TV. There was pushing, and people counting, and a doctor in his special doctor garb waiting to catch the baby. I did end up lying on the bed, which wasn't exactly how I wanted that to go, but I was so weak and ready to be done by that point that I didn't care about much of anything. Including when the doctor announced that I'd be better off with an episiotomy instead of a potentially nasty tear. I have no idea how long I pushed (my eyes were still closed at that point), but I do know that after the talk of the episiotomy, Philip had to sit down to avoid passing out on the floor (which was somewhat surprising given all that he'd already witnessed from me that day). In any case, after 11+ hours of labor and who knows how much pushing, Alaina Catherine Kanjuka entered the world at 5:21 p.m. on January 9th, 2012 weighing 6 pounds, 7 ounces and measuring 17.5 inches long.